i finally have a motivation to get up in the morning and to go to school, and you are trying to take it away from me. who exactly do you think you are? you cant control how other people feel, you can barely control your own life. Go on, feel the way you do, i cant change that and im not trying to stop you. but why are you taking away my motivation?

ive never felt this way. its new and very intimidating.

im afraid of my feelings and the feelings of other people.

im afraid of getting too close.

im afraid of getting hurt.

im afraid of hurting you.

i go a whole year with nothing developing romantically

now all this shit is dumped on me all at once.

and for some reason im not enjoying it

i almost hate it

i dont want to jump into a relationship, ANY relationship.

i want to hang out

go on dates

and not feel guilty that i may be hurting people

*sigh*

luke's birthday is tomorrow...

you dont own me

~chels