everything

i wish i could let my guard down. not care if the cringe, not care if they dont think im good enough.

i wish i could get up there and sang like i did for her. they would all see what i could really do. but i know i wont.

ill shake.

ill forget the words.

my voice will quiver.

my heart will race.

my hands will get sweaty.

and ill regret every minute.

and they'll never know.

i wish i could throw away all this baggage. im sick of identifying with songs. emo. hard core emo.

i wish i could smash it through a brick wall. i want to pulverize any haunting memory. two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward, one step back .......

ill be there on saturday. im not going to let him get to me. im not going to miss that because ill see him. and ill be happy. and ill show him that the last thing on earth that i need is him.

yup ...

i love the resolutions i make that i know ill break.