and im not talking about a male.

im talking about a girl i care about more than my actions speak for.

one thats been with me for the longest and shit keeps happening.

shes been there for me more than i think is fair. weve gone through our fair share of incidents and the thing is ... i cant understand why things arent better.

and in recent circumstances im not even seeing my own friends, and then she's also left out. and again i feel like shit.

i wish i could make it up to her. i wish i could be a better friend. i wish that she didnt think i was blowing her off, or that if im blowing anyone off, its more than just her. i wish that things could even out, or that they would fall together. because right now i dont like whats going on one bit.

i wish i had the courage to admit to myself that whats happened isnt ok.

i wish she knew that im there for her more than she does know.