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streamlined
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my back hurts. surprise surprise. i hate stock. open open open ... sensor sensor sensor .... hang hang hang. they have to be in size and color order. "someone jacked it up last week" glancing at me. well sorry no body taught me how to backstock. 3 boxes in one hour. have to meet a quota. taco bell scarf and then off to work again. open open open sensor sensor sensor hang hang hang. ball and chain. its cold in the back room and the music sucks. have i told you lately how much i hate clear channel? and then comes the apprehension. that evening shit was going down. like before only this time i was ready. with my boy armor, smile shield, fake laugh sword, and the twinkle in my eye only the best of us can feign. the guilt is eating me alive but i was eager none the less. figures that this kinda thing only happens at the most inopportune times. not like it could wait for the lull in the stormy life. in case of fire break the glass and then we'll all die anyway. scrunch up your face one more time ... i dare you. flying disks. show me off. turn your back. goddess walks by hell im not competition. never was. that fleeting moment when i knew it was over. done. slam that book shut, chapter is over. but for some reason i like to keep re-reading those pages, searching for somethign new. taking inventory of the entire circumstance. looking for some further reading. if only he had come with an Afterword. that would have been more convenient. but no its just another thing i have to add to my boringly mellowdramatic life that no one cares to read about or know about anymore (or ever for that matter). grin and bear it. someone somewhere loves you, knows whats going on, is ready to hit the stop button. introduce me again. lets start fresh. shake my left hand for prosperity. suck it all out with that one look. the awkward glance. the one i used to love. but it still makes my stomach tighten. push me again. pick me up. its all coming back to me. and then the guilt surges as he wraps himself around me. yep ... like i said ... mellowdramatic to the max. just puke and get it over with. oretzle fight. one last moment. i wont see that for a long time. and i need that i think. because otherwise this happens.
previous - next
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Sunday, Apr. 13, 2003 - 12:17 a.m.
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about
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I hope nobody still reads this.
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older entries
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framed - Sunday, Oct. 07, 2007
It won't be Long - Thursday, Sept. 27, 2007
thirteen - Monday, Aug. 13, 2007
graduation - Monday, Apr. 30, 2007
... any takers? - Wednesday, Apr. 11, 2007
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