it was definitly all i had hoped for, and an infinity of more. he picked me up a little late. i was still trying to decide if my shoes matched when i was summoned by "la cucaracha". the trocadero is the same hidden beauty its always been, but tonight i didnt take the time to study the style of the place. my brain was whirring with thoughts of who i was about to see. i bought a shirt, like you do. its red. pat said i dont have enough red shirts so i should buy it. since pat is my new style coordinator i went along with it.

the openers were alright, but i know i was extremely disinterested in other music. i was there to see the bandits and only them. and then he just walked by. just like that. it was matt embree, that guy that sings those songs. you know ... the ones i cant stop listening to. the ones with the most amazing lyrics ive ever heard. he was just there, walking by. and i froze. i mean, they made fun of me as i replayed the way he walked over and over in my mind. and no its not because hes so dreamy, i dont know what it is. i mean, hes not that guy that i want to marry, hes the guy that i would want to just sit there and talk to for hours, days even. but i couldnt do it you know, i couldnt bring myself to talk to the guy i had worshipped since august. he walked by again and i slipped out into the entrance way to see him, watch him in a completely non-stalker way. the other bands, the openers, were playing in the background. he walked in and i pointed at matt embree who was stuffing a flyer from the bulletin board into his pocket. he walked right over and i envied his courage. i tried to think of ways to gather up some sort of conversational skills as i watched him talk to him. and i just stared.

my shirt was inside out, i didnt want to be "that guy". you know, the one who wears the tshirt of the band they are going to see ... they made fun of me for that too. i talked to him for awhile. it was funny though. it was something we had talked about way back, in that other era. things are the same, but so so so different. i never realized how shy i am, even around people i know. or maybe just around him. reservations. i followed them into the pit and waited. waited and anticipated what could possibly be coming. they came on and the crowd erupted. it was intense. the amount of energy circulating through that tiny theater was amazing. the bandits have this awesome way of playing a show. they segway each song with jams and their energy feeds off the crowd which feeds off them in thes crazy energy circle. matt embree's voice just has this thing ... and steve and chris on horns ... wow. the drummer, chris, the other chris, the one who used to have dreds, hes got this amazing sense of rhythm, flawless. and steve, the asian one, just knows how to rock hardcore. i was pushed around in the pit a little, but i have people who are looking out for me i supposes. its funny how "who would have thought" was the first song they played ... funny only to me. pleading protest i grab my heart and scream out loud.

they didnt play nothing sacred.

we waited in this cold, damp, dark alley way in the middle of china town. we watched a crazy homeless man combat the cars and eventually the drummer of the bandits. he was going to tear chris to fucking pieces. and i thought he really was. then there was matt. and i was not going to let this opportunity slip up. i tried to tell him about the lyrics on my anti-war shirt. he seemed really blown away that i would put something that he wrote on my sleeve. it ment something to me. hes this down to earth guy, matt embreey was. which is exactly how i had imagined him to be. i knew he would be kind, and hes a little bit of a hippy. he was glad to sign my cd booklet, and turned to a blank page in the back to write me a note. he even spelled my name right. he wins. it was surreal, i didnt just get his name on a piece of paper, i got his own words written to me. it was so much more personal and i almost died right there in the dark, moist alley way. he shook my hand with this feeling. and he looks into your eyes when he talks to you. he didnt wimp out or forget who you are 3 seconds after he turns away. he didnt turn away. and all i could do was think that this is the guy that writes the stuff that i listen to every day with envy of their talent.

i loved tonight beyond words.