I was thinking the other day about a promise. I remember sitting senior year on a couch talking about how worried I was that in a few years from then (which is probably about now) I might be thinking back to high school and the people I knew ... and I remember being worried that I would be wondering what was going on in my closest friends lives. How THEY were doing and what they had been up to. At the time that seemed impossible. How could I possibly lose touch with the people I care about? I remember that there was a promise that we wouldn't be like that, NO WAY. If all else failed, we were always going to have eachother in some way.

Interesting how in only 3 years things have changed that much. I know that it is an equal part of everyone's fault. Whether he didn't call her, or she never got back to him or he didn't remember her birthday. Its all very different when you scatter people about the area. We lose common ground. Our experiences become seperate and all you can rely on to relate to eachother are memories, and reminiscing can only take you so far. I know I'm not saying anything new, but for once I'm not completely blaming myself. I think camp removed me from the situation in a way I never anticipated. I know that the summer time is when you recuperate from the damage of the school year. Relationships at home can be repaired with a few months of summer and the proximity being restored.

I, of course, have not had that summer to remind my friends at home that I do still exist. Since quitting camp, I'm afraid that I missed too much, its too late to go back now.

Some people are lost and gone forever, others have come into my life unexpectedly, but I'm still struggling to come to terms with being slowly removed from some people's lives (if by time or method or space)

I'm also having an increasingly difficult time with my current position as the Minor concert chair. I don't have a show booked. Lack of communication and ability to compromise has pushed me against a wall, and It's not looking pretty. I'm tired of working under the kid who dumped me in public and treats me like crap. I am significant and I do know alot more than him on how this stuff works. He has the luxury of a penis and relative good looks which have won him the election and the respect of the brainless females that join our group to meet hot famous people.

ALSO, class was ended early today when a girl started having a seizure. After akward silence (as the whole class sat there not knowing what to do while this girl is seizing) we were dismissed (and I faced a moral dilemma of whether or not it was ok to be glad that the circumstances got me out of another day of Chaucer ... )

I have a prospective interest, and I am completely taking a back seat to this whole process. After 4 very short and screwed up relationships in the last 2 years I am justifiably reluctant to put any hope into this possibility. But, for the record, it is there.

I am researching a work visa for the UK. As soon as I graduate and get a bartending license, I'm moving to London.