i dont like sitting there watching all the people dancing and wishing i wa up there with him. but him is not a good thing for my brain right now. i finally think i have things all figured out and now its like my cranium has been put in one of those boggle things ... or maybe pop-o-matic trouble ... but thats not the point. im just super confused and thats the last thing i need.

and i think the more i let this soak in my thoughts the more potent the feelings are going to be and the more painful im going to make it for myself. *sigh* i think sometimes my inner-self tries to make my life more dramatic ... to make something happen during this dreary existance.

and they didnt even play 99 red balloons