most of my friends know this guy ... though not personally being that he lives in new york.

and i think the only reason ive hung on to this crush for 9 years of my life is because i need someone to like ...

*sigh*

hes always been totally unattainable and i guess that was half the attraction ... that i could never have him. it was like that all through elementary school. i can remember these crazy little things about him. like the way he used to push the hair out of his face, or the way he smiled when he knew he did something funny.

and i saw him in september. and he was the same. i know he looks different and he has drastically changed his image ... but i saw the same guy there. and it made me smile and swoon. but then he talked to me ... and he hugged me ... the most physical contact ive ever had with this guy ive liked for 9 years ... and now i talk to him online everyday ... and he tells me every day that he wishes i would come visit so he could teach me how to play guitar and see a show with him.

and it hurts even more now

no matter how much i like him

because now he acknowelages my presance ... and im 6 hours away.

~chels