"yeah Take it! ... i mean Bring it!" - JOHNNY

tonight we went to 3 beans ... as ALWAYS. this has been a tradition every friday for abouta year now. craaaazy.

so we played an ultimate game of Risk. i held south america the whole game and kicked some serious africa ass. i pretty much dominated the board. *nerdy laugh ... pushes glasses up nose*

i have no idea why but its such an addicting game. so i made it in to the risk finals as we like to call it. yeah im sure your lost ... as am i.

ive been thinking alot about my friends and ive realized that alot of my main circle of friends have been togehter for a long time. i almost feel like an intruder. i know im accepted but i feel so alone sometimes. thes people have memories and they have been here much longer than i have. the hardest thing is to sit there and listen to your friends reminisce about the "old days". i just always want to turn to one of my friends here and ask them if they remember the renissance day we had where i was a witch. or they day we reinacted the boston massacre with balled up peices of paper for snow balls in history class. or the way we all called matty d v-d because of the way he pushed his hair out of his face. or the time at camp when i got a picture with stevie fig. or the time i went to the skating party with albert. or the time i had that solo in the DARE show. or the time i was dottie in the play we did in 4th grade. or the time i directed the felicity play for the class in 4th grade whrn we were learning aboutthe boston tea party. or they day we went to wegmans to get a tour and we all got bakery hats. or the lego machine we had to build for the expo at RIT where erin and i got in the newspaper.

whew

i just had to get that out.

i really miss jsut talking about those things. its hard to be the new kid ... i jsut want to have a history with these people. but i can never look back in time as far as they can together and i can never sit around with them and talk about what we were all like when we were little. and i think above all ... thats what i want the most. and its one thing that i CANT have.

~chels