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my self esteem has hit rock bottom. im scraping around trying to put back together my dignity and even the slightest bit of like for myself. im realizing that my dreams arent going to come true, im just not that great. im mediocre to bad. i dont stick out. ill be working in a windowless cubicle for my entire working life. i know it. im thinking bad things and im glad im too much of a wimp to follow through. i want to just disappear for awhile make people forget me, come back fresh and new without baggage. im wishing i was the tiny dancer elton john is singing about. i think i would like to be her. and not me. i wish i didnt suck so much.
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