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i dug out the picture of us and i put it on my shelf. it felt right being there. its not something that should be hidden like it never happened. its more comfortable reminding me, even if im not so comfortable with that. i think it needed to be done. were just standing there, thumbs up staring into the lense. i look at pictures and i think about what i was thinking about in that moment the camera captured my face. i think about what i hadnt yet learned, experienced, felt. and i think about how i didnt see it coming. and somehow im ok with this. even though i see the shadows everywhere.
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