there are so many things going at me right now.

there's you. you make me so happy i hug myself some times. just being around you makes me comfortable in my own skin. i know that you dont look down on me, and if you do you would never let me know that. sometimes i wish what you said was about me, sometimes i look and i hope it isnt. we just fit together, whether or not its in that romantic way.

and you were so cute. to think how things have changed. i wish i knew you. and i wish things didnt get in the way. inside i saw something that i wish you would let out a little more. you underestimated yourself, and i guess that ruined it.

and it seems like i can never get rid of you. no matter how much i deny it, or how much i think ive pushed it away, you keep surprising me. and although i know in 10 years ill look back and know that this was something substantial, today it doesnt feel possible. and i know that my feelings are deeper than i let on, but thats just my safety net.

perhaps you will one day be back. maybe one day ill be able to fit perfectly in your arms again. and maybe i will be able to brag about you again. it doesnt seem so long ago, but sometimes when i think about it it seems like it never happened. i wish sometimes that i could rearrange some things about you. i wish i could edit out the past and add in my own little corrections. i wish i could hit pause at that one part, and leave it that way forever, not getting to the spoiled part.

i guess i just wish you knew. and i wish i could tell you.

and i wish i knew if this was about one person, or all of them.