i want to talk about it. but wouldnt it be distasteful? not something to exploit. for the first time in a while i wanted to talk to matt. he was there the first time, he was there every time actually. and he seems like the only person i really want to tell. and hes unreachable. figures, tasted medicine, bitter to the end.

i enjoy time alone, but i feel like i cant live without being surrounded by the select few that matter to me more than anything.

i could take this time to actually tell people that i care, but i guess thats just the green in this blue-orange. or maybe im just afraid to tell him how i feel, or her, or them.

im going to go stand in the rain and listen to music surrounded by thousands of people who i dont care about.