and i hate counting the days wishing they would come less frequently.

i want time to speed up and slow down at the same time. geez its obvious i have a very hard time letting go of the past.

a very hard time.

you're just right for me sometimes. you make me so angry sometimes i could kill you, but its character right? a flaw? theres just this way you look at me sometimes that i love. but believe me, i refuse to let you get close. there's no way im letting anyone into my heart like that again. its pointless.

and he just keeps coming back. i want to see him all the time, but ...

and its just running smoothly, and then i make you angry and then you make me furious, and then we talk for hours.

and they just dont know. i can sit with them for hours and want to be around them forever, and theres just this flip you know?

i hate work, and i hate cleaning up after people. i hate conflict and i hate confrontation. i hate when the hero loses, but i hate to see the antihero die. i hate being torn, i hate being completely secure. i hate the darkness and the unknown. i hate fake music and i hate messing up.