I very clearly see my future for the first time in a long time. It involves an apartment in Astoria/Queens. A monthly metrocard, A corner diner where my friends work, new years in times square, a job in Manhattan and seeing more live music in shitty little bars than I could ever imagine.

I spent Friday night at Vinny's place. It is amazing to me to see my best friend living and breathing New York. He is really doing it, he is really living in a roach-infested apartment in Harlem, sleeping to the sounds of music blaring out of car stereos at all hours, people screaming down the street and other generally wonderful city sounds. I want that unglamorous life, roughing it in the Big City.

I navigated the subway system all by myself and imagined people looking at me and assuming that I wasn't a tourist this time. I imagined taking the R train to work every morning with the homeless guy who calls himself "the entertainer" and tells Michael Jackson jokes.

I know I can do this. It's really all I think about lately. Part of me knows its just another of my fleeting obsessions like knitting or Semester at Sea. But the other part of me knows that this dream has been there since I was wearing my blue plaid jumper in elementary school, dreaming of an apartment overlooking Times Square.

I am opening up a bank account tomorrow afternoon. I will deposit my last 4 paychecks as my first rent payment on my first apartment in New York City (that doesn't exist yet) Every month I'll make a $50 deposit and by the time I graduate I figure I'll definitly have enough money to pay rent for at least a few months. That way I can move there immediatly and not worry about having a job yet.

I.Can't.Wait.