i hate this cotillion. its the topic of EVERYONE"S diary. like casey's, mark's, rachel,s and ed's. to name a few.

blah

i hate not having a date. i hate thinking i need a date. i hate having ot shop for dresses and none of them fit you right because your boobs arent big enough or your hips are too narrow. i hate never finding the right shoes. and having to dress up. and showing up wearing the same thing as 2 other girls. and i hate that feeling you get watching all those people dance while you sit on the bleachers trying to smile while bitterly wispering expletives under your breath. dont get me wrong ... ive had dated to dances ... but that just adds a whole new aspect to the loathing of fancy dances. you have to figure out how to pay for the fancy flower thingy you have to buy him. and i hate worrying about whether or not he actually wants to dance with you or hes just doing it out of pity (ie. jimmy)

its on everyone's mind and its making people miserable. i can only think of 4 people who are actually happy about this thing ... those people being slic, rachel, amy and mark ... respectably.

i know i can still have fun at the dance without a date ... i jsut know that that kinda rejected feeling will linger all night. i hate when it comes uninvited ... how rude. ugh now im just not making any sense.

and im such a looser. i have this thing for some guy ive never talked to or even met. PATHETIC! but he is in a band, he plays guitar*swoon* and he surfs *lovey dovey sigh* and hes really pretty good looking. and hes crazy ... exactly what i like. i want a guy that makes me say "whaaaa???". or something to that effect.

oh and angelo ... this is for you ... because i havent had the chance to talk to you yet ... and im not quite sure i want to talk to you. i just want to let you know that i really dont appreciate the "tight" joke. especially since its behind my back. what you couldnt say it to my face? maybe thats because you knew id be upset by it. its one thing to have a joke about someone ... but if its offending and pretty much not appropriate i dunno call me crazy ... someone might get a little fucking pissed off. its even worse to find out that this is an ongoing thing behind my back for awhile ... i respected you and i THOUGHT the respect was mutual. but im thinking trust is stomped on right now. yeah call it a trivial little joke ... to you perhaps. well im not laughing.

life's just SWELL!

~chels