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i tried to go sledding today, but the snow is like powder, and my toes were too cold. i like opening the door to a foot of snow wall. blizzards are fun. im trying to understand why i cant put my heart out there. i dont know why i cant feel what i should be feeling. am i doing the right thing? i hate my callous heart. my mom said it wasnt his fault what happened in the past, so why make him suffer. i dont think im making him suffer, but i do think im only hurting myself in the long run.
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