wondering if its doomed

hoping tomorrow night will be the oasis in all this crap that ive been waiting for.

i want to stay in a myopic state of mind. i like focusing on the caterpillar crawling on the railing, the droplets of water on the car windshield, the bass pumping making my pencil jump, the color of my socks, the way the light hits the carpet, my cats wiskers, the pen on my hand, the worn spot on my jeans.

i dont want to think about the future or the impending doom that is every relationship i ever attempt. i want him to call me.